Omnipotens Petra
by Meshdo
Summary: In which there is a carefully hidden flashback, obscure pimples, much trekking, and above all, a revelation.
1. Artemis in DC

Hi everyone!! Okay, I haven't tried an Artemis Fowl fic so sorry if it really sucks. ^^; Hate me, flame me, whatever, as long as you review. Happy reading!

---------

**Chapter 1**

**7:00 am - Pentagon, Room 14B**

"Sir!! Sir! I found something!"

"Make sure the coffee contains exactly 2 miligrams of cream and sugar, no more no less--shut up Richards--and also stir it three times counter-clockwise. Can you bring me a French crueller while you're--I'm in the middle of something IMPORTANT Richards--at it? Pick the one with the least glaze. Thanks."

"SIR!! I found Artemis Fowl's location!"

Colonel Kendell E. Stokes pressed some buttons on his phone and began talking to his personal secretary. "Hello, Wilma? Yes, this is Kendell. Record, "Artemis Fowl is still at large. He is wanted for the theft of the Omni stone, and is potentially very dangerous while in possesion of it."

"SIR! PLEASE, I'm trying to--"

"Dammit Richards, what IS it?"

17-year-old Captain Katherine "Kitty" Richards brushed dark black curls behind her ear. "I found Artemis Fowl!"

The Colonel was on her in a second, his face rather resembling an overripe plum. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!?!"

Kitty took a deep breath. "I did. You were busy ordering your doughnut, a quite important matter apparently. And then you were reporting that Artemis _hadn't_ been found. It's perfectly understandable that you didn't pay attention."

Stokes glared at Kitty. She had the inane ability to infuriate him, and despite all get away with it. "Well..." he said, after a pause.

"Colonel, your coffee is here." Stokes accepted his coffee and turned toward the computer screen.

"He's here."

"Richards don't be an idiot. Really, where is he?"

"Here. The U.S."

"That's outrageous. How could he get here without our detecting it? We're the United States military for God's sake."

"Well sir, there was one city we didn't check."

Stokes now looked more like and overripe peach. "You mean..."

"Yes sir. Artemis Fowl is right under our noses. Washington D.C."

next chapter>> 


	2. Dealings

Thanks for the reviews!! Geez I'm updating like a maniac. 2 in one day. That's a lot for me!! :) Okay, on to the fic.

-----

**Chapter 2**

**Penthouse Suite, a prestigious DC hotel**

*Beep. Beep. Beep.*

14-year-old Artemis Fowl looked up from his laptop and answered his cell phone.

"Master Artemis they 'found' you."

"Good. Do you have the tape?"

"Of course Master Artemis. Shall I fetch it?"

"Yes of course, Butler. Put it in the special player, but use some of those fairy FakePrints on the it."

"Right away." Butler hung up. He headed for the low security safe and twirled the combination dials. He pulled out the tape and headed for the underground high security vault. He subjected to an iris scan and entered in the password when prompted.

Inside the muggy room there were several boxes, all neatly labeled. This was the room where Artemis held his fairy loot. Butler proceeded to the box labeled "FakePrints, COPYRIGHT FOALY SO DON'T YOU DARE STEAL THEM!!!" A coat of dust covered it, as it had been given to them as a gift two years ago.

Butler put a thumb, index, middle, ring, and pinky FakePrint on a tape player he pulled from a colossal pocket. (all of his clothers were, of course, custom taylored) He pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello, Riley?"

"Ah, Butler. What can I do for you?"

"I have a delivery for you. Go to the usual place tonight, where you'll find a metal box with a passlock. The password is 0dao93. Take the tape player inside to room 16 A of the abandoned steel plant on West Avenue. Place it there and lock the door. Do that and the money's yours."

"How much?"

"Plenty."

"How much?"

"Have we ever cheated you?"

"No."

"Good-bye Riley."

"Bye Butler."

*click* Butler arranged for the box to be placed in an old alleyway. Everything was in place.

***

"Captain, the Omni stone is a myth. A bedtime tale for baby goblins."

"Well, actually I think adult goblins would also believe it."

"Shut up Foaly."

"Commander, I honestly think he has it. This is Artemis Fowl we're talking about." She paused, a grim smile on her face. "Remember the last time you hauled in experts to tell if he was lying?"

Root remembered all too well. "Yes, but this is different. The Stone isn't even entered in Foaly's records. It doesn't exist."

"Let me play the video again."

Foaly brought up a video email of Artemis Fowl, sitting casually on his HoverBoy, something he'd asked to have from the ruined Koboi Labs.

"_Omnipotens Petra_," he drawled. "Such was the name the ancient Roman fairies gave to the Omni Stone, a gem of such magnificent power that it controlled the very earth. The weather, minerals, and oceans for miles around were all at its holder's fingertips. Its holder could _even_ decide to let all the tightly compacted soil above your precious city crumble."

He flashed a sly smirk.

"Be at the abandoned Paris chute on July 16th. Its owner is willing to trade a reasonable amount of gold for a 'mythical rock' that, I'm sure, would be quite useful to the LEP. Don't be late."

The email ended.

"Stupid mud boy." Root muttered.

"Are we going?" Holly asked. "The LEP _could_ use the Omni Stone right now, all things considered."

"Captain Short if I bring this to the council they'll laugh me out of recon. How do you expect me to get a 'reasonable amount of gold' otherwise?"

"Well, there's always..." Foaly started.

Root sighed. "Trace location of gnome Mulch Diggums."

----

Okay, so it was kind of boring. Sorry about that, okay? The thing is, I'm trying to lace in all the clues I'm going to have and have all the red herrings early on so I can maneuver the plot twists later.

What plot twists?

Heh, just kidding. No plot twists whatsoever...*innocent smile*


	3. Sucio Cavar

**Beachside cottage of Sucio Cavar  
Barcelona, Spain**

Mulch Diggums, or Sucio Cavar as he was here, counted his money in much appreciated privacy. Finally away from those idiot Mud Men, in one of the best cottages money could buy. Equipped with Fairy technology he'd installed himself, there was no way that idiot R--

And suddenly he was pinned down by a short auburn haired fairy, armed with a gun he recognized to be a fairy DocStun 2000--

Foaly: Designed by ME!!!

Lily: Please Foaly, not now.

Foaly: Me, proving I can beat that idiot Opal Koboi any day, who is now in PRISON, fwahaha!! SHE is in prison! I'm NOT!! 

Lily: *smacks Foaly* GO AWAY. This is MY fanfic!

--a gun especially designed for breaching the tough skin of dwarves, plus it emitted a forcefield that made the holder immune to their gas. "Really Mulch, you didn't have to make it so easy. You know we wouldn't have let you go without placing a scanner on you. And despite that you even decided to name yourself Sucio Cavar; "dirty digger" in Spanish." Holly Short of the LEPrecon squad said, in a mock-lecturing tone.

Mulch blinked. And then he got up, slowly, because Holly still had the DocStun pointed at him, and felt under the mass of hair under his arm. Finally his nail hit metal and he pulled out a circular button-like thing that was blinking. "D'arvit!" he swore and stomped on it.

"What do you want?" Mulch growled.

"Exactly," inquired Commander Root, who stepped into the cottage, "How much money do you have right now?"

Mulch's sneer turned into a curious face, and then a smirk. "Oh, not much. You know, just the basic enough-money-to-buy-all-of-Haven fortune."

"And because you are hereby under arrest by the LEPrecon unit, all of this money must be well spent..."

"Yes. Unless some oaf who smokes fungus cigars decided he needed some money, for whatever reason, and chose to give Sucio Cavar another two day head start, this time with no tracer."

Root glared.

"And then," Mulch continued smugly, "Mr. Cavar would contemplate whether or not to give the oaf some money for something so outrageous that undoubtedly the Council would never listen."

Root seemed about to scream, but instead he said calmly, "After some thought the "oaf" decided it wasn't worth it; Mr. Sucio, who was wanted by the LEP, could just go to Howler's Peak. There were other ways to obtain reasonable amounts of gold." And with that he pulled some handcuffs out of his pocket and made a move to arrest Mulch.

"Mr. Cavar decided to reconsider," he said hastily, "And he would agree to the err...Commander's...terms as long as they were reasonable."

"Oh, is that so Mulch? Does turning legal for a change sound reasonable?"

"NO!"

"Didn't think so, but it was worth a try. What would you say if I told you Artemis Fowl has the Omni Stone?"

Mulch blinked. And then he collapsed into a stream of dwarfish chuckles. "So wait, the macho Julius Root, big cahuna of the LEP decides to hunt down a simple dwarfin thief because he needs help to get a fairy-tale--" He reverted to full out laughter, and after calming down, continued, "--pebble from a fairly intelligent mud-boy?"

Holly bristled. "Artemis is _far_ more than fairly intelligent you mud-eating, gas-blowing _dwarf_!" Having been kidnapped by him, she knew far better than to think of him as "fairly intelligent".

And yet...was this Captain Holly Short actually _defending_ her archnemesis? She shook off this strange feeling and glared at Mulch.

Root sighed. "We know better than to think he's lying. If he says he has the stone, he has it."

Mulch contemplated this for a moment. What could _he_ do with the infamous Omni stone? Pull entire celebrity apartment buildings to the ground, valuables and all...with the proper files...a plan formed in his burgler's brain. This could benefit him. A lot.

"How much money do you need?" 


	4. Dental Digest?

**Washington Dulles International Airport**

"Sir, I'm serious. This suitcase is of utmost importance and I _insist_ on taking it onboard." Artemis argued loudly

"I'm sorry, kid--"

"For the last time, STOP calling me 'kid'."

"--sorry--but it's TOO BIG for carry-on luggage. You're going to need to check it in to get it stored below deck."

Artemis sighed. "Can I rummage through it to get my necesseties for the trip and give it to you to check in?"

The flight attendant sighed, relieved. Finally, this annoying little brat was relenting. "Sure k--go ahead."

Katrina put her magazine back in front of her face. Idiot _Irlandskii_. He had to make it so obvious that he was carrying the Omni stone onboard. She looked to make sure he wasn't watching and boarded the plane, her microscopic dagger tucked safely in her boot.

***

Artemis watched the reflection in his sunglasses of the tall blonde carrying the magazine; Dental Digest. Somehow she didn't strike him as a dentist. He needed to keep an eye on her. He tucked the stone into his rucksack.

***

**Flight 67 - Washington Dulles/Paris de Gaulle**

"Put your hands up. Listen to me and fly where I ask you to, if you value your life." Katrina's silky voice dripped with its Russian accent as she held her dagger up to the pilot's neck.

Shaking, the pilot nodded.

"This plane is going to Helsinki, no?"

The copilot almost said something, but his partner silenced him with a look. "Yes. Helsinki."

"Then it has enough fuel to make it to Russia."

"Why, yes. Of course." The pilot was shaking. If this didn't work he would most likely not live to ever see Helsinki.

"Good. Fly." She sat down on a nearby chair and held the knife carefully.

***

Artemis frowned. The woman had gone into the cockpit, for whatever reason, and had not returned. It'd been thirty minutes now...

"Excuse me?"

A flight attendant walked over to him. "Yes?"

"Would you mind going into the cockpit and asking the captain if we're going through any turbulence right now?"

The attendant looked at him strangely, then nodded and went into the cockpit.

About a minute later she came back, looking pale and shaken. "N-no," she stuttered. "The plane--is--completely fine right now..."

"Is there a hijacker in there?" Artemis whispered, alarmed.

She barely managed to nod.

Artemis sat back in his chair with a grim look on his face and pulled out his laptop. "Okay." he replied.

Butler;  
Help. The plane is being hijacked. Pilots, flight attendent, and I are only ones who know. Alert Parisian officials to be on the lookout for a crashing plane.

That was assuming Artemis' calculations about how much fuel the plane was carrying were correct.

*** **Somewhere Near the Paris Chutes**

"This is crazy, Captain! He's not coming!"

"He'll _be_ here." Holly snapped. "He's not giving up a chance for forty pounds of fairy gold."

"Quite the Fowl expert now, aren't we Holly?" Foaly's voice sounded in Holly's ear.

"Shut up Foaly." Hoaly said automatically.

Just then a hulk seemed to block out the moon. "So," said Butler. "Do you have the money?"

Holly gulped. Butler always made her nervouse. If he could tackle a troll and survive he wouldn't have any problem with her, assuming that he was ever bent against _her_ instead of the troll.

"Yes. Where's Mud Boy?"

"He's in Helsinki," Butler replied smoothly. Too smoothly. "With his father."

Holly eyed him suspiciously. It wasn't like Fowl to not show up for an important business deal. Oh well, this was Fowl's father and he'd always had a soft spot for him.

"What about the stone? Do you have that?" Root demanded.

Butler nodded and pulled a shining polished stone, which resembled an amber opal.

Holly pushed the crate over to Butler, who hefted it easily. He handed over the stone and nodded. "Good doing business with you." And with that he turned around for his helicopter. Holly and Root likewise turned around for the chutes.

And that was when thirty Goblins surrounded them and held up razor sharp knives to their necks.


	5. No Ordinary Mud Girl

That Artemis...what is he up to this time? *mysterious look*

Anyway, because ff.net's servers have been being evil on me I might not be updating too much, and also because I recently got a kitten. In any case, enjoy! (And review)

-----

Artemis brought up a map of France on his laptop. Judging by the size of the plane, the speed they were traveling at, and an estimate of how much fuel they were carrying, the plane would most likely run out of fuel and need to crash-land somewhere around Paris.

Suddenly he checked the date on his computer. July 16th.

The horror of what would happen should he meet Holly only lasted a moment. His mind set to work. Let's think worst case scenario, he thought. God decides to be cruel and land us smack dab near the Paris chute. They should all be gone by now...but if they're _not_, for whatever reason, I must hide the stone. Captain Short certainly won't take well to there being not only a stone in her hand, but one in mine.

But where...

***

Artemis had to work pretty hard to get the stone down the toilet. He hated physical labor and grunted several times in exhaustion as he shoved it down. The lavatory entrance said "Occupied" for quite a long time and as he came out a man grinned sympathetically at him and said, "Yup, that airplane food will do it to you everytime." Artemis blushed and tried to get away, but the man pushed a bottle of pills into his hand. "I take these to stay regular. They work like a charm!"

Shaking his head, Artemis settled into his chair. Might as well get some sleep; this was going to be a long night.

***

The plane violently shook Artemis awake. He blinked, and was dimly aware of a throbbing pain on his head and people screaming. "Dream." he muttered and went back to sleep.

***

He felt a sharp slap on his cheek.

"Wake up, _Irlandskii_." sneered a female voice, heavy with Russian accent. Artemis dully tried to place where the accent came from...he recognized it from somewhere...

"I SAID WAKE UP!" He felt another slap and shook himself awake. He felt his hand to his head...a hailstone sized bump raised his jet black hair and he groaned.

"Where is the stone?" the Russian voice asked. Despite all, Artemis managed to smirk and shake his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." he said, trying to sound like your average stupid American teenager.

"Don't play stupid with me _Irlandskii_. You are the infamous Artemis Fowl, who actually managed to cheat the Mafiya last year. You think we don't recognize conterfeits? Boss through a huge fit when he saw what Vassikan and his barbarians managed to bring back. Boss wants to see you...make a deal...you have gotten your hands on a very valuable little pebble. Now why don't you be a good little brat and give it to Kashka?" She shoved an open palm with long manicured fingers (much like Artemis' own fingers) in his face.

"Look man, I'm just a kid okay? Just a kid and I don't know what the hell you're talking about, and I don't give a crap either." Artemis struggled a bit with his American, but thought that he sounded pretty much like any other American kid on holiday in Europe.

"Really," Kashka said evenly, as though struggling not to lose her temper. "You must have a very rich father to be able to afford Armani."

Artemis cursed inwardly. Why hadn't he worn the jacket Butler gave him? He thought fast. "Yeah man my dad's into computers and stuff. He uh...works for Bill Gates."

Kashka slapped him again. "Tell me the truth you insignificant bit of filth. I know you're Artemis Fowl; you match the description Boss gave me perfectly. And then there's the fact that you have several emails from a 'Butler' on your laptop...you know you're just like that idiot father--he was quite evasive too."

Artemis didn't quite know what to do for about two seconds...

"Eugh!" Kashka exploded into a long chain of words that Artemis guessed were most likely Russian curses as she wiped his spit off her face.

"Don't you ever dare insult my father again." Artemis hissed.

Kashka seemed to furious to respond to this, so she just threw him down in disgust and proceeded to go through his bags. Finally in frustration, she turned to him again. "Look here _Irlandskii_--this is your last chance. _You_ either decide to be a good little spoiled European supergenius and give me the stone, or my men in your Manor will decide that your Butler is no longer needed and do away with him, understand?"

"I...don't have the stone." Artemis pretended to sigh. "It's at our summer villa in...Rome."

Kashka seemed to pause, and then glaring at him suspiciously, she pulled out her cell phone. In rapid Russian Artemis interpreted that her men were being directed to scour Rome for a villa under the name of Fowl. Fortunately, he actually did have a villa there that Juliet occasionally visited, but she wasn't there now.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

***

Holly was about to fire a dozen rapid rounds of Neutrino charges at the goblins when Butler softly nudged her elbow. Standing stalk still next to one of the goblins was a young Mud girl, probably French. A gun was pointed to her head. "Guns." barked one goblin, apparently the leader judging by the large size of his gun as compared to the other goblins'. Reluctantly, Holly loosened grip on her blaster. But inside she knew that she had a backup gun tucked inside her belt pouch. Root did the same, and Butler seemed confused for a moment. Holly realized he didn't have a backup, and the goblins would be far more dangerous armed with a Sig Sauer.

"Hand over the girl first." she said quickly.

Being Goblins of course, they handed her over and continued to menacingly glare. "Idiots," muttered Holly, firing the dozen rounds she'd planned earlier. Soon there were nothing but a pile of unconscious goblins lying on the field. Holly looked into the eyes of the terrified girl and said in thick _mesmer_, "You will go back home, and if anyone asks where you were you will say you were...shopping."

Concentrating on her magic and being very tired, Holly didn't realize the girl had shut her eyes. She opened them and smiled a terrifying smile. In a fluid motion she grabbed Holly's Neutrino. "Foolish fairy. You didn't think I'd fall for that, did you?" Perfect Fairy. This was no ordinary French Mud girl. She turned the gun up the highest it would go and pointed it at Holly's head. "Now, I know you have the _Omnipotens Petra_. So hand it over before your little friend gets her brains fried." She barked to Root, who growled and handed it over to her. Butler, Holly noticed, was looking very nervous all of a sudden. But the girl only grinned and pulled a remote out of nowhere. Pushing a button, a beautiful convertible zoomed up. She hopped in and, cackling, drove off.

There was silence for a few moments. And then Holly broke it by saying, "Well Butler, I don't expect the gold back. But I'll say this; this couldn't get ANY worse!"

No Holly, it can always get worse, a voice in Holly's head said. It proved to be right, because just then they were nearly ran over by a plane. 


	6. Which Mud Girl?

Ah, God has decided to be cruel! Our two groups of "heros" meet, and sparks will surely fly as not one, but TWO Omni Stones are revealed. But which one is the real one? The answer is not what you would suspect...

Heh I hope I sounded mysterious above!! Anyway, just read on. Artemis is planning something, to be sure.

-----

The impact nearly knocked him over, as the plane plunged into a nosedive. Artemis reminded himself to stay calm and reached under his seat for his parachute. Putting it on, he ran to an emergency exit, where suprisingly there was no bottleneck. Figures, thought Artemis, no one has the brains to grab their parachute.

He yanked the door open and jumped.

***

"Commander! It's a plane! It's a bird--no it's a fowl!" Foaly cackled in Root's ear.

"D'Arvit!" swore Root and glared sharply at Butler, whose face remained carefully blank.

The plane, about 200 yards away, was on fire and sending plumes of dust everywhere. Artemis looked utterly calm, as though he'd decided to go skydiving for leisure. Holly noticed there were barely a few other people falling around him, each with a parachute, but most of them apparently perished with the plane. Suddenly, she realized Artemis was still calm, but he seemed to be saying something to a nearby blonde lady, who seemed mad at him and was obviously shouting.

Finally, when the distance between them wasn't so great, the three on land could hear the rather confusing conversation.

"You fool _Irlandskii_! If you had just given me the stone I wouldn't have had to make the pilot crash the plane!" She looked as though she'd attack him if it wouldn't probably kill them both.

"Please, no arguments right now Kashka. Stress and high altitudes don't mix. And besides; you probably should've realized that the plane was far too small to make it from D.C. to Helsinki without switching flights! Obviously it was going to stop in Spain or France..."

"You Americans can't make planes correctly anyway! A Russian jet would have no problem!"

"I'm not American, for the last time! I'm Irish!"

"Either way, you're still an idiot. I bet your father and mother will be pleased to find you led to all of the people in the plane dying!"

Artemis seemed to sigh. "They're not dead all right? I used the stone to ensure that."

"You have the stone? Where is it?"

"I told you; our Villa in Rome. I can still use it as long as I have a chip.

Kashka almost seemed ready to bite his head off. Then, seeming to notice something, she refrained and landed near the plane. Immediately she began to scour the debris.

Artemis landed a little later and walked up to Butler. "Well Butler, isn't this convenient? Where's the helicopter?"

"AHA!" yelled Kashka from some distance away. She exclaimed excitedly in Russian and then, regaining her composure switched back to heavily accented English. "Hid it in the toilet did you Fowl? Clever, but not clever enough." She triumphantly held up an amber spotted stone, which shone in the descending moonlight.

For once Artemis seemed genuinely worried. He looked at Holly, Root, Kaska, and back to Holly. "Wait." he said hastily. "I can explain!"

Root glared, pulling out his cigar and crushing it on Artemis' now dusty leather shoes. "No need to explain, Fowl. So you cheated us...it's perfectly--" he coughed. "--fine. But we expect the gold back, and we also expect you to catch the human girl that took the fake stone." His tone was plain, but infuriating all the same because Artemis hadn't a clue who he was talking about.

Butler looked at Artemis expectantly, but he seemed confused.

Artemis slowly motioned toward Kashka. "Her?" was all he could get out.

Everyone seemed to sigh in exasperation, and slowly he was brought up to speed.

At last they were done. Artemis blinked.

"Ah, so this is the infamous Artemis Fowl?" said a voice. That was not Kashka's, but it was not fairy either. It was the girl.

And she had the Neutrino pointed at Artemis' head. 


	7. Miss Congeniality

I made an editation to this chapter, thanks Hermione Weasley! Artemis probably _wouldn't_ fall for someone that fast. And also, in this story Artemis decides he doesn't care much about the good terms he and the People were on...heh once a theif alway a theif!

-----

Kitty played the video again.

And again.

And again.

Still she couldn't find what on earth was wrong with Artemis' tone, but she was sure something was wrong.

In familiar Fowl drawl, "The Omni stone? Why what on earth would an innocent fourteen-year-old know about that--he miserably failed an innocent look--oh _that_ Omni Stone! Well of course I have it. But you know, it was _quite_ expensive in attaining...I'm wondering what I could fetch for it in the Black Market? A very high price, probably. Yes, but the United States Military could probably offer a higher price no doubt. Or would they be willing? Well, the point is, twenty million for the Stone; check made out to Artemis Fowl. Agreed? Agreed. Once I've recieved the check I'll it'll be placed in Room 16A of the abandoned steel mill on West Avenue. Don't bother check---king no-o-o-wwww...."

The last words became increasingly unclear every time she played it because of the disintegrating virus. And of course it couldn't be traced.

The check had been made out and an agent had been dispatched for the steel mill already. Kitty was only waiting for--

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"This is Fowl. Put your hands up. This is a stick-up."

"Very funny Scheele."

"Pssh, let loose a little Kitty! Really, this whole FBI business gets you so wound up."

"Scheele, what about you? Don't _you_ get wound up?"

"I don't work for the Stork." he replied easily, referring to Kitty's boss.

"He's not _that_ bad once you get to know him Scheele!"

"Aaaah he's infecting you! This message will self distruct to repel the Storkvirus!"

"Fine, Scheele, just what's the lowdown on the Fowl case?"

"Well, Fowl didn't say he would put the _Stone_ in room 16A"

"Crap."

"That's right! Fresh or clotted? For clotted we stock Fresh Step Scoop and TidyCats. We do not participate in serving dog crap."

"Well what _was_ in the room then?"

"A tape recorder."

"ARGH!"

"Yup! But get this; it's all muddled. No one can make heads or tails of it."

"Send it in. I'll see what I can do."

"Will do, ma'am!! Overrrr and out!!"

Kitty rewarded Agent Scheele with a rare chuckle. "Whatever. Bye then--"

"Wait!"

"Hm?"

"Hey, um...are you free on Thursday night?"

"Is this..."

"Because that's the day my cousin works at Copeland's, and he can get us half off for dinner..."

Kitty grinned. Yes! Finally! She'd been waiting years for this. "You think I'm gooooorgeous...you wanna daaaate me..."

"Enough with the Miss Congeniality! Can you go or not?"

"Sure. Come by around 6:00."

"Okay! I mean...yeah. Right. Well bye then."

"Bye."

Kitty sighed. Artemis Fowl deserved his nickname in the FBI; the Trickster. If only she could figure out where he was!

***

Right then Artemis was very tense, as the Neutrino levelly edged closer to his mussed salon hairdo.

"Hand over the stone. Now."

"I don't have it."

"Where is it?"

"In a villa. My villa. The Fowl villa. Italy. Name of Fowl." Artemis couldn't help stuttering a bit. The girl was very pretty, even though she had an incredibly dangerous weapon pointed at his cranium. And she looked angry too, but she looked good angry. Her hair smelled nice. Did she use Herbal Essences? Juliet used that. It smelled good...why was he acting like this? The girl was ugly! She was spinning. Around and around...around...probably dumb...not dumb...gun...

Gradually Artemis was loosing consciousness until finally, there was only darkness.


	8. Agressive Negotiations

I wrote this chapter on the way to a Niagra Falls trip...heh...anyways, I think it's sheer coincidence that the idea of this fanfic is similar to the Akashic Records because I very much like that fanfic and respect the author and don't believe _she_ would copy, and I can assure you I most certainly didn't copy. Just addressing this topic before it came up!

-----

Artemis awoke to find himself tied up, breathing in the strong scent of some sort of perfume. He coughed.

"Awake, are you?" sneered a perfect British accent.

"No." Artemis may have been humiliated, but he would still manage sarcasm.

"Cocky are we?" The girl emerged from the shandows, and to Artemis' carefully hidden surprise his newly cleared eyes informed him she couldn't possibly be older than he was.

"Who are you and where am I?" Artemis demanded.

"My name is April, and you, dear Artemis, are at my Manor, whose full name I won't reveal." With a snap she turned on a brilliat chandelier which illuminated the delicate gilded walls of his prison.

"Where's Butler? Holly? Root?"

"Well, you _are_ full of questions. They aren't harmed; I simply knocked them out while I...'kidnapped'...you."

"Are you holding me hostage for the stone?"

"No, I just randomly snatch European geniuses."

"And would you yourself fall into the category of 'Eurpean geniuses'?"

"You don't worry your inhumanly intelligent head over that."

There was a tense silence as Artemis' level gaze met April's fiery violet one.

"As long as you keep me here you're not getting the Stone. Agressive negotiations don't work in this kind of case."

"...Unless I torture you."

"Right...so can we negotiate in a more passive manner?"

"Nego--"

"Fifteen million."

"Outrageous."

"Fourteen."

"Ten."

"Thirteen."

"Twelve."

"Twelve and a half."

"Done."

"Wait...how about if I only bind you to one chip? Six million. Every bit as powerful as the whole thing, but If you try to kill me or something I can stop you. I feel uncomfortable giving someone I don't entirely trust the whole stone."

April considered this for a moment, but consented.

"You're staying here tonight." She rang a bell, causing a manservant to appear at the door. "Gerald will show you to your room."

***

Kitty tried playing the tape backwards and forwards, plus many different ways that most people wouldn't know tapes could be played. She finally was so frustrated that she smashed the tape, causing a small piece of paper to pop out.

Surprised, she cautiously unfolded it.

_Well, aren't we clever? I'm guessing that you were so frustrated that you smashed the tape--Kitty scowled--and managed to extract this note. Well, how very useful. In any case, if you think I cheated you you're sorely incorrect because I never said I was going to put the Stone inside the steel mill. Tsk, tsk, you Americans are too trusting. Well, when I reach my hideout I'll contact you. In the meantime, Ciao!_

Kitty frowned. Artemis was like a cat (A/N: For my personal friends, yes, this is ironic! Heh my cat's named Artemis. ^_^) in that he enjoyed playing with his prey. As much as she hated to admit it, she did indeed feel like prey. And it wasn't like him to spontaneously get sick of an amusing game. So, there must be some sort of clue in this note...well, she decided to send it to Firensics and see what they could figure out...

She got up and was blown back by immense force.

Another piece of paper drifted down onto the surprised and hurting Kitty.

_Oh, and did I mention that the last note was rigged with a pressure sensitive miniature bomb? You won't find it again._

Kitty immediately dropped that note too because it became very hot and burned to shreds. She stamped out the small blaze and gazed around her office with dismay, wondering how she would explain it to Colonel Stokes. 


	9. Binding

AHHH!!! Everyone thinks Artemis is going to fall in love with April!! Noooooo!!! Sorry. Just had to say that...and in any case, I can't say what will happen. But I can say that I did originally plan for that, but now that I think about it there's too many Artemis-falls-in-love-with-some-girl fics out there already...

-----

Butler woke up to find that he was at LEP headquarters. He gazed around, marvelling at the faeries' organization and technology once again. Would they ever fail to amaze him, especially Foaly? And about that pixie, Koboi, it really was sad. She was actually quite brilliant. He knew somewhere under the tranquilizing spells that he was dazed, but didn't fully realize it. Miraculously he could still think properly. That was good. Yet there was some sort of fact that kept slipping his mind. He had a job...but what was that job? It was something to do with a person! But...

"Butler! You've woken up. Good. Anyway, we have a couple questions for you. If you answer these you will in exchange recieve some information as to how to find Artemis."

Artemis! That was the name of the person. Yet what was he supposed to do?

"Foaly take him off of the tranquilizer! He has that glazed look." Root snapped.

Foaly looked up in surprise, as though the large suction cup on Butler's wrist wasn't there. "Oh, of course." he whinnied, the Centaur expression of sheepishness.

Butler found his head miraculously cleared and he shook it a couple times. "Where's Artemis?" he demanded.

Foaly sighed, and Butler heard him mutter under his breath "How primitive." He flexed his massive arms.

"Right! We need you to answer some questions..."

Butler was silent.

"First, do you know where the stone is?"

"Yes."

"The real one."

"Yes."

"Where is it?"

"At the Manor."

"Where in the manor?"

"In a safe."

"What is the combination of the safe?"

"36-29-12"

"Is there anything else guarding it?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Two German Shephards."

"I see...do you have any clue as to where Artemis is?"

"No."

"Good, because we do."

Foaly brought up a map of the world on his computer. He pressed a couple buttons and the map focused more each time, until it was focused on a tiny island in the Mediterranean Sea.

"This is the location of the hideout of one April Riechards," He pronounced it "reesh-ards". It sounded German, Butler thought. Foaly brought up a profile of April. "Our sources tell us that she probably has Artemis held captive for the stone. Knowing your charge, he probably negotiated quite toughly and managed to get a large amount of money from Miss Riechards. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't have the files that would tell her how to harness its power."

Foaly typed something and a window of something written in Fairy came up. It was very long, and would have looked strange to Butler if Artemis hadn't decoded something quite similar two years ago. "These are the spells and incantations needed to control the Stone. Without them one cannot hope to gain access of its power. There are only two only ways to get a copy of these files--one, off of my network. Two--off of the Black Market. Since I doubt Artemis will try to hack into my network again, he most likely had to pretend that he had the stone to several people to raise enough money to buy these files."

"Several people?" Butler asked, keeping his voice carefully even.

"Yes," Foaly replied wryly. "As if you didn't know. Our American sources also tell us that he tricked the United States government into believing he had it and gained several million American dollars in the process. He's currently leading them through a sort of cat-and-mouse game, still leading them on. I'm sure by the end of this he will be billions richer and the U.S. will have nothing to show for it but a fake stone."

"Well, you fairies certainly are clever aren't you."

Holly, who had just entered, snorted. "It only seems that way because you Mud Men are so stupid."

Butler grinned his terrifying grin and cracked his knuckles loudly.

"Anyway," Foaly coughed, "We can dispatch you to this island with a small brigade, perhaps even Trouble Kelp's, along with a...how do you Mud Men say it...walkie talkie--he seemed to think this was very funny--headset connected to Central."

This sparked something in Butler's soldier mind. He was being briefed...sort of. The beginning of a mission. "Give me the details." He said.

***

Artemis awoke and stretched. He'd gotten a good night's sleep, thanks to the luxurius heather bed April's guestroom was stocked with. It was quite a nice change compared to the uncomfortable metal spring mattress his DC hotel suite bed had had. He changed into a silk shirt and leather pants newly hung in the room's mahogany wardrobe.

Downstairs the smell of French toast and sausage met his nose and he felt his stomach growl. He hadn't eaten since the disgusting food the airplane had provided him. Actually, he really was craving some--

"Caviar, Master Fowl?" Gerald uncovered a small bowl filled with fish.

"Why yes, I think I will." He grabbed some with his bare hands, not caring if he was looking barbaric. He was starved. He also proceeded to grab large portions of French toast and sausage.

"I see you're hungry." April drawled from behind him.

"You would be too if I had kidnapped _you_ from the middle of an abandoned Paris field after a plane crash." Artemis snapped, mid-chew.

"Of course I would." She snapped and was given a glass goblet of what looked to Artemis like watermelon juice.

"In any case, would you like it if I binded you now? I have a chip with me."

"Actually I was going to ask you if you could," April replied, smiling a sickly sweet smile, "Can you do it here?"

"But of course. Money first though."

April nodded and motioned for a nearby manservant to write him a check.

Artemis tucked the check inside his breast pocket and reached inside it for a shining amber chip. He cut April's palm with it and pressed it into the blood for a full twenty seconds. Saying the necessary chants in his head, he waited a little more and handed her the chip.

Looking up, April smiled. "Of course, you realize that now that I have this chip there really isn't any need to keep you alive, right?" She pulled the Neutrino from under the table, still set at the highest setting; Lethal Extreme.

Yet Artemis had anticipated this. He grabbed a steel plate cover and bounced the shots around. Grabbing a cloth napkin and stuffing it with food, he ran. 


	10. Things Get Interesting

I edited this chapter a bit thanks to the incredibly helpful reviews of Blue Yeti. Thanks BY!! And also...Kitty's fairy-human comparison was some foreshadowing. Hehehehe...and also. Another hint that justifies that is her mysterious past. You'll see. And lastly, this is a while after the Arctic Incident and the FBI has known of fairie's existence for a while. You can tell because currently (at least not to my knowledge) _hyper_sonic jets don't exist. I suppose I can't assume the reader will assume so much...o_0 But, being the FBI and not the Media they're not going to exploit them. Fairy files are kept top secret. ;)

-----

Kitty smiled as she gave Agent Bryan Scheele her hand and let him lead her to the entrance of Copeland's. It was a slightly upscale restaurant but they'd decided to act like they were entering one of DC's swankiest places.

"So how did the Stork reply to Fowl's mutilation of his office?" Bryan asked as they waited to be seated.

"Not well. First he was shocked that I only had a couple of minor scrapes and burns--"

"The Stork has a heart! Shock shock."

"--and then he just got really ticked. He isn't _that_ bad you know.

Her date laughted. "I think he has a soft spot for you."

Kitty looked up, confused, from peeling the polish off her pinky.

"There're a lot of rumors circulating about you."

"Like--like what?"

"Crazy ones. Usually to get into the FBI you go through the Academy and then some old school agent takes you under their wing. Most people have known eachother since their first year at the Academy. But you--you just popped up. And with the Stork too."

"Oh...you know I'm not really ready to talk about my past." Kitty replied awkwardly.

Bryan flushed, and nodded as a waitress led them toward a cozy booth by a window.

***

**Palermo, Sicily, Italy**  
  
Butler climbed out of the Palermo chute trying not to look like Holly'd steered like a madwoman. Even so, trying not to look conspicuous was even harder. Most Sicilians were dressed in the latest from Itlian Designers. Butler, however, was clothed in a rather bulky leather jacket, crammed full of equipment. To add to it he seemed to be talking to himself, or rather the invisible fairy squad behind him.

"This is humiliating." He muttered.

"What about me? I have to work with the very person who managed to defeat my squad two years ago," Trouble Kelp snapped.

They headed in silence toward the yacht Butler had rented with some of the year's "earnings".

Once they were speeding toward the coordinates Foaly had given the squad unshielded. Butler watched them breathe in the fine salt mist.

And then one of them jumped in.

***

Kitty was just beginning on her Fettucini Alfredo when her beeper went off. She noticed Scheele's also seemed to be going off. A message flashed across the small screen:

**Get 2 HQ ASAP. Fwl found.**

Trying to hide their excitement, the two of them threw down their napkins, shoveled as much food as they could down their throats, and ran out the door without paying, only a quick flash of their ID's.

***

Butler watched enviously at the steering wheel while Kelp's squad each held on to the dorsal fin of a dolphin and lept amongst the waves. He nearly forgot that they were about to attempt a rescue mission.

Upon reaching the island the fairies somehow managed to be dry as soon as they stepped onto the rock beach.

"Now for the fun part, Kelp said, pulling out a map. The search began.

***

Artemis hid in a cave he'd found inside one of the beachside cliffs, munching on a piece of caviar. If things went right Butler would find him within the next twelve hours. He pulled out his Palmpilot and tapped a few buttons. No sense in wasting away half the day.

His inbox boldly proclaimed, "**You have 4 new messages.**"

Opening up the one from Butler, Artemis nearly dropped the small handheld.

**From:**Butler@FowlManor.com  
**To:**MasterArty@FowlManor.com  
**Subject:**Alert

Master Artemis;  
You may not be expecting this, but the American FBI knows where you are; as do we. Foaly filled me in. As is, there are currently two groups heading to the villa of Miss April Reichards (Reesh-ards). Perhaps the Russian mafiya too, once they find they fake Stone you gave them. I told the fairies the real one is in our Itlian villa, and Ialso arranged for them to meet a rather unpleasant surprise there. Lastly, Captain Short informed me that she and Root borrowed money from Mulch Diggums to pay for the fake stone. He'll probably be heading there once he thinks sufficient time has passed so that someone has killed you.  
  
Take Care,  
Butler

Now, Artemis thought, things get interesting. He needed to contemplate what to do, but he didn't worry. The cave was fairly comfortable and 12 hours was plenty.

***

Kitty hated riding in hypersonic jets. She hated the comcentary jump into space and she hated even more the motion sickness that shortly followed.

Yet she strapped on her helmet and parachute. She walked quickly toward the plane, trying to ignore Scheele, who was grinning excitedly. He loved these sorts of things. Rollercoasters, magnet trains, monorails, you name it. But he wouldn't take ignoring, being Scheele. "Hey Kit, isn't this great?"

She scowled.

Scheele shook his head, making that cute shaggy blonde hair of his flop a little. I love it when he does that!, Kitty thought.

Minutes later she squirmed while Scheele made a point of shouting "Whee!" since their commanders weren't present.

Finally Kitty felt the plane slow down and her stomach begin to complain about the sudden change.

As soon as she was safely on at the airport to be transferred to a stealth helicopter, Kitty barfed into a nearby trash can, hoping it didn't disgust the poor fellow who wanted to spit their gum out in that can.

Now was the slightly less nauseating part. She was to be dropped by parachute onto the island. Despite the fact that she knew all calculations were very precise, Kitty worried she'd accidently be dropped into the ocean. Human technology was so primitive compared to fairy technology.

The moment Kitty was safely on land Kitty pulled out her map and trekked over to where Scheele was standing, a couple yards away.

"Where should we start?" Kitty asked. 

Scheele poked his finger at a collection of cliffs a bit south of where they were standing. "Let's go." 


	11. Not Quite Flawless

As he had hoped, Artemis was first found by Butler. "Let's get out of here before we're found," Butler urged, watching the recon squad reporting that they'd found Artemis, "and before Kelp realizes the Italian villa is phony."

"No," Artemis replied coolly, scanning the horizon for even the smallest hint of FBI agents or April, "I want to take care of them first."

"Ready to leave?" Kelp walked over and asked coldly. Apparently, his feelings towards Artemis hadn't changed. However, Artemis levelly met his eyes and replied just as calmly, "I'd like to find Miss April Reichards. Her mansion is undoubtedly filled with many potential additions to the Fowl Treasury."

Trouble's lip twitched as he wanted to give a sharp retort but instead merely shrugged.

***

Within 200 yards of the cave where Trouble's brigade resided, Kitty and Scheele heard voices. They hurried their pace, excited by the prospect of being able to bring the Omni Stone _and_ Artemis Fowl to their commanders.

Scheele, who was a bit ahead of Kitty, suddenly gave a start. "Kit!" He stuttered, "Fairies!" And so there they were; about twenty fairies dressed in silver suits and armed with dangerous-looking weapons. Kitty sighed, memories awakening in her mind.

Memories she didn't want.

***

April jumped up with rare excitement as one of her agents returned and gave a quick bow.

"Well?" she demanded, her sharp glare trying to cut into Phillipe's hard gray ex-soldier eyes.

"He has been found, madame."

Resisting the urge to give an evil cackle, April limited herself to an uncommon genuine smile.

"But--"

"But?" April's smile dissolved into a displeased frown. She wasn't about to get excited if an annoying "but" chose to cut into her happiness.

"He has some people with him, madame."

"Phillipe." Speaking no more than necessary, April surveyed her uncomfortable agent.

"Some little people..."

A sharp intake of breath escaped April's delicate-looking mouth. "By little people, you surely do not mean..."

"Yes, it is so madame. Sir Fowl is in the company of fairies."

The lady of Reichards Manor concealed her shock. Now, there were only two choices she could make.

***

"Holly!" Foaly suddenly seemed to be right next to Captain Short, screaming at her.

She groaned. Pulling off her covers and turning on a light she groggily replied to her always on speaker. It was hooked up to every other speaker in Haven, Foaly's unfortunately included. "What do you want you annoyingly morning-ish centaur?" She demanded. In human time it was around 4 am and Holly had been sound asleep in her heather and goosedown bunk.

"When I read Butler the file of April Reichards something about her struck a bell in my oh-so-flawless memory."

Holly was silent. Foaly wanted her to say "so?" or something to indicate at least slight curiousity, but she was more interested in half-dozing.

"So I took her picture and ran a search on it in my oh-so-flawless network."

"Where to I fall into this?"

"Well you know my network?"

"With your oh-so-_modest_ ego, how couldn't I?"

"It just so happens that I found a flaw."

***Record scratches and stops.***

"What kind of story is this?" Foaly demands, poking a hairy finger at the authoress.

"Action/mystery/suspense," Lily aka Meshdo innocently replies.

"My network is _flawless_." Foaly persists.

"But of course."

"So how is it that I found a flaw?"

"Get back in the story, 'oh-so-flawless' Foaly!" The omnipotent (irony, irony) Lily booms, to which Foaly grudgingly obliges.

***Suspenseful music resumes***

"A flaw? Oh dear, we're all doomed to oblivion!" Holly sarcastically replied, yawning.

"Yes. I found no resultes, so I did a search on 'April Reichards' instead, with one result."

"Only one! More omens of doom."

"So I select and lo and behold! Shat should I chance to come up with?"

"A page on the private life of Julius Root?" Holly asked, knowing she was being a bit over snappish. But being awakened early after 30 hours with no sleep wasn't appreciated on her part.

"No. I found a missing page alert."

"Oh." Holly speculated this. Foaly's network _was_ supposed to be flawless, at least in the part that there were no lost or missing pages. This was because no one but Foaly could add or delete files. A hacker would have to be exceptionally skilled in order to get in.

The only question was, who was that exceptionally skilled?

***

Artemis was getting antsy. Where was that April? It was...around 4 am human time in Haven. That meant everyone was sleeping for at least another one to three hours. In fact, Kelp's whole squad was peacefully dozing.

Mulch Diggums was in Barcelona. Haven was somewhere around Spain, so it was around the same time there.. Mulch would want all adversaries to have eliminated eachother, until the only one left was who he could steal the stone from.

Wait...if Mulch had waited so long, he must have known there were multiple adversaries.

So, his goal would be to get rid of Kelps squad, take care of the FBI agents who thought they were hidden in that rocky outcrop, and evade the Mafiya. Plus escape Diggums long enough to arrive safely at Fowl Manor with the Stone.

Get rid of Trouble Kelp...now that would be easy.

-----

*cries* You hate me, don't you! You haaaaaaaate me!! You don't? Well then WHY AREN'T YOU REVIEWING?! Yes, those of you who _do_ review, you are greatly appreciated. But, I want MORE reviews! So, in order to boost my reviews, I've come up with this little system thingy:  
  
** - Everyone who reviews gets a little sneak peak at the next chapter, which I will send by email. If you're a regular reviewer, email me and I can add you to my so-called mailing list.  
- I'm not continuing any given chapter until I get at least 5 more reviews than I had for the previous chapter.  
  
For the next chapter (which, by the way, will be called "Revelations" until further notice) I'm being lenient. If my lil review counter reads 40, you can expect a new chapter within the next coupe of days. I check my email every day and I have review alert on. ;) Anyway, to reiterate, REVIEW!!! Or I will be chastened to buy yet another shovel reserved for non-reviewers! (see profile) **


	12. Revelation

Mulch Diggums. Dwarf. 112. At large. Mulch smirked as he read the criminal file Foaly had on him in his Network. It'd been too easy to hack into it from the stunningly advanced computer Mrs. Reichards had provided. He was sure it was fairy, but he didn't worry about it as long as she kept his rather generous paychecks coming.

And after Artemis Fowl had suitably eliminated her he could come out and steal the stone. IT was all so perfect.

Mulch ordered another glass of Saharan mud clots.

***

Kitty paced back and forth behind the rocky outcrop. Fairies. When they were invovled things were likely to get very complicated very fast. She wanted to where she was all of a sudden.

In the FBI information was only given to those who needed it when they needed it. Kitty had no clue where they were. She frowned. Something about this place was odd. There was a tingly feeling on the back of her neck.

"Kitty!" Scheele declared, "Wanna stop pacing and try to _sleep_ any time soon?" Kitty was brought back to reality by her close friend. "Oh..." she replied absently, as though she were concentrating on an obscure pimple perched atop his nose. "I guess."

She quietly rinsed in her portable washbasin and climbed into the thick sleeping back spread out next to Bryan's. "So," he began awkwardly, trying to start a late-night-about-to-fall-asleep conversation, "Are you ready to tell about your past yet?"

Kitty smiled grimly up at the brilliantly starlit but gradually fading night sky. "I have a feeling you'll find out plenty about my past quite soon."

***

"Kashka, my dear, this simply will not work."

"Boss, Fowl does not know any better. For all his genius ideas he _is_ still a child."

"Yet I do question how you plan to kidnap this Butler person."

"It is quite simple. After Fowl returns to his manor we lure him away with promise of a black opal for his triumphs. We tell him to come alone. And then...we strike!"

"From what I have heard this Butler is quite large..."

"Yes; this is what we shall use the fairy gun for."

"Fairy gun?"

"I hired a theif to get us one. His name is Cavar. Sucio Cavar."

***

The bright Mediterranean sun slid gently up the horizon, sending a dozen fuzzy rays in every direction. The sky turned that bubble-gum-cotton-candy-salmon pink it always is at sunrise, highlighted by fluffy sausage-shaped golden clouds. "Well, my children," the bright magenta orb smiled, "Something is about to happen."

Kitty opened her eyes to the serene sunrise and crawled toward her rucksack. Inside hid a tiny red laptop; she pulled it out and began to type. The laptop's built-in satellite chip allowed its user to always get online and trace her location.

**THIS FUNCION HAS BEEN--**

Before the computer could complete writing "blocked", Kitty reenabled the tracer and activated it. A map of the world was slowly narrowed down to a map of a tiny island off the coast of Sicily.

If they were near Sicily than the nearest FBI station would be in Palermo.

And so would the nearest fairy chute. So that's how _they'd_ gotten here. Fairies. Oh, how she longed to be amongst them. How she longed to be below ground in perfectly crafted tunnels with a sleek silver neutrino in her hand. What sheer joy, feeling magic sizzle up her arm in cyan jolts.

Kitty suddenly shook Scheele awake. "Bryan," she urged, "wake _up_!"

"What _now_ Kitten? We're supposed to be keeping a low profile here. What's more low than sleeping?"

"I want to explore this island. And I want _you_ to watch over out stuff. Got it?"

Scheele grunted what could barely, possibly, be interpreted as "Fine."

"Right. Don't drift off!" Kitty reminded Bryan as she laced up her hiking boots and trekked off.

And he promptly fell asleep.

***

Artemis hoped dilated poison arrow frog venom was as paralyzing to fairies as it was to humans. But not lethal. He didn't want the People after him for murder. He carefully put a droplet in Trouble's canteen and unrolled the sleeping bag Butler had brought him. Might as well catch a few winks before April finally found him.

***

April felt her fingers subconsciously float to the locket around her neck. So, she thought to herself, are you really ready to do this? Because you know of course that when it happens things will drastically change. _She's_ with the fairies.

Wait wait wait, your jumping to conclusions. Who says _she's_ with the fairies? _She's_ human like you are.

_Because_ you are.

April ran a finger through her curly brown hair. The bleach has just about worn off, she thought, and after a single shower that straightener never existed.

So who said _she_ was with the fairies? _She_ might have been working with them the last time she checked, but still...No, not with them. Close to them. _She_ was an expert. Well of course _she_ was an expert. But how long before _her_ knowledge becomes obsolete? Maybe it's already obsolete. Fairy technology progresses just as fast, if not faster, than human technology....wait you're getting off topic.

No more excuses. April opened the door she stood in front of and stepped outside. Squinting slightly at the rising sun, she began to hike.

It wasn't long before a moving, brown, curly head could be seen. It was, after all, quite a small island. She moved closer to her target.

April nearly smiled. _She_ looks more surprised to see you than the other way around, she thought when Kitty finally spotted her.

April took a deep, hitching breath.

"Hello Mother."

-----

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the slowness in updating!! I wanted to make this chapter good so I wasted a long time trying to think. New strategy; don't think, just write. The thoughts will come! Anyway, same as last time. No updating until 45 reviews or more, and lucky 45 gets a preview of then next chapter. So review, my beloveds!! Next chapter will be called "Confrontation". 


	13. Curses

For the second time in one days Captain Holly Short awoke to the annoying sound of Foaly's voice. This time, coincidentally, she was taking a nap in an attempt to make up for the sleep she'd lost because of Foaly.

"I FOUND IT!"

"You're going to lose it if you keep waking me up," Holly hissed, not really knowing what "it" was. 

"D'Arvit, Holly, I'm _so_ sorry," Foaly muttered sarcastically, "but I found the information on April Reichards!"

Holly, despite herself, felt a tiny little leap of excitement in her fairy heart. She'd been perplexed earlier that morning, when Foal had said good-bye to maniacally try to find the file.

"It's quite interesting," Foaly said, "because this April Reichards? She used to be April Rowan..."

Holly was suddenly thrown back several years. Her mind chastised her for not having recognized April Reichards as April Rowan. Because _she_ had covered the Rowan case. _She_ had watched sadly as April tried to cover her shame with a defiant look. And _she_ was the first to comfort April's mother, Katherine, who was also exiled...

***FLASHBACK***

"Captain Short!"

"Sir!"

"How good are you at keeping secrets?"

"Excellent, sir!"

"Good, because not a peep of this case is to get out to _anyone_, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir!"

And then a many times less experienced Root proceeded to brief a many, many times less experienced Holly.

So it came to be that a newly promoted Captain Holly Short stepped into the richly decorated hallway of a Sicilian flat. Her voice, oozing mesmer from every sound wave, purred, "Do you know anything of April Rowan?" Her eyes locked with the surprised ones of a middle-aged Italian man, holding something unmistakeable. Something Holly had been drilled on more times than she could remember. Something she could practically recite cover to cover.

The Book.

Not too much later Holly grimly tried to avoid Katherine's bloodshot eyes as she poke of the crimes her daughter had commited. The human in possession of the Book, the reciepts found in a Haven safe, the missing gold from a nearby bank...

***END FLASHBACK***

"Holly, didn't you cover the Rowan case?" Foaly was asking.

Holly barely moved, except to sigh. "Yeah, I did."

***

"Master Fowl!" Butler whispered to the dozing prodigy. "The fairies are watching over Kelp. We have to go _now_."

"Butler--I'd like to go to the Reichards Manor. I believe it's well worth looting." Artemis replied, rubbing his eyes.

"I must desist. The poison won't last that long--I just overheard a fairy contacting Haven. They're getting the antidote as we speak."

Artemis contemplated this.

"Very well."

And they fled to the speed-yacht, moored by a nearby rock. While Butler revved up the engine, his young master surveyed the island. Well, besides being kidnapped, this venture had been rather productive. He had a tracker chip in April's ahnd and a far richer pocketbook. Why yes, life was good.

Just as he turned away from the rail a shadow slunk aboard.

***

Kashka almost threw her cellular phone onto the rather lovely marble floor of her room. Her Egyptian Mao blinked large amber eyes at her in such a way that only purepred cats can blink. This blink, naturally, did not improve Kashka's mood.

It was lucky that cat didn't understand Russian (or did it?), because if he did he would've been quite perturbed. If the cat _did_ understand Russian, he would hear something like this: (which, naturally, is translated for your convenience)

"You idiotic pile of dirt! I hope you fall into a Murmansk Radiation Vat! I hope you are prey to a starving male Siberian tiger! I hope a drunken fairy blasts you to impossibly small pieces of sludge!"

And so on. Nearby lay a cracked Neutrino 1000, which any half-trained cadet would've known was fake. But unfortunately, Kashka had only seen a shoddy picture of it online. She scowled. Scowled at the box resting near the fake neutrino. Scowled at her laptop, on which yet another email from that swindling Cavar person asked to be read. Scowled fiercely, hatefully out the window. Wherever Mr. Sucio Cavar was, wherever he happened to be standing or sitting or sleeping...she hoped it was cursed forever.

***

You didn't know that much about Agent Kashka Ivanovich, alias Katrina Jackson. You didn't know that she is actually descended from a very powerful Ukrainian witch. She doesn't even know that. You hadn't the faintest idea that the pendant she wears around her neck is actually a mother-daughter heirloom that dates back to the Ukrainian witch. Or that this pendant can call upon the witch's powers if there is enough emotion to fuel it.

But you do now.

***

Mulch Diggums, alas Sucio Cavar, happened to be crouched insde the microscopic storage room of Butler's boat. He was busily pressing buttons on his watch computer, cackling at the figures coming up. He was in an extremely happy mood until it suddenly felt as though the floor beneath him had melted.

He squirmed.

It seemed to melt more. Little known to Mr. Diggums, he had just been cursed.

--- Yes, I'm perfectly aware it's been several months since I last updated. Poor old me. What can I say? I find it hard to do much of anything these days. 7th grade is a bummer...anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter should be up soon enough! 


End file.
